Looking for a Bible passage today to go with my feeling of thanks. Is is good to give thanks to God, so we are told. And I do believe it and tell people to try it as a discipline. Lots to be thankful about today: almost last Wednesday of quiet and peace in the morning before summer; no cavities for all 4 of us who went to the dentist yesterday and today; organic produce from Aldi and Hagn doz vanilla ice cream with honey and walnuts; a calmer period in my marriage after some crippling storms just a few weeks ago; kids doing well in school and a teacher so willing to help with the not so well parts; a photo of the children in Bavarian clothes from the homeland that hasn't been home in 30 years; my boy who announces that he wants to spend the summer reading, writing, and thinking; not so little girls anymore willing to give the still-not-being-able-to-swim problem one more try; and the sunshine today.
So I find Psalm 136 and it causes mixed emotions. His mercy and love endureth forever, yet only to the Israelites and not their enemy. On which side am I ? I want to give thanks this moment, but know that I will be grumbling at God before the day is over! How fickle I am in my faith and my character. I am so silly to believe that I can just avoid praying for God's will, so the seemingly bad that comes with the good won't happen. Like I have any control over my life by using strategies to keep God from reaching in to this life that he gave.
That's where I am today: thankful and holding back.
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